The Boston Red Sox Win the World Series, Haiku Style

Note: These were written and posted to social media one by one in real time during Game 6 of the 2013 World Series. Here they are collected. Go Boston!

Here we are again.
The green diamond takes its place
In October stars.

Here comes the offense
Against this Wacha Wacha
First pitch is a strike.

Ortiz is on base.
What else is new? Naps can’t hit
Fastballs worth a damn.

The key to the game
Is don’t wait til Game Seven?
Wow, Buck, McCarver.

There are men on base.
Chances for a double play?
At least don’t walk Freese.

A wild pitch followed
By a fierce strikeout to end
A scary inning.

Flyin’ Hawaiian
Has American flag shoes
Back clearly still hurts.

Point oh-six-seven.
Now that’s a batting average.
Let’s go Stephen Drew!

Leaving men on base
Is a Boston specialty
One more lost inning.

Obstruction again?
No, don’t worry, it’s just
Jim Joyce’s strike call.

Time to walk Papi.
Molina thinks he’s just great,
And Jim Joyce agrees.

Bases are loaded!
Here comes Shane Victorino!
Oh three little birds

Shane Victorino!!!!!!!!!!
Without exclamation points
Can’t tell full story

Dustin Pedroia:
Gold Glove, almost double play,
But bobbled the ball

Stephen Drew!!!!!
You get exclamation points
Too!!! It’s about time!

The upstairs neighbors
Have different cable; their yells
Give early alerts.

We are in the fourth;
I have to write another
Papi walk haiku.

Wow, so Ellsbury
Calmly high-fived John Kerry
Next to the dugout.

Every little thing
Is gonna be alright, Oh
Baby don’t worry

Two on with one out.
Carlos Beltran comes to bat.
I’m nervous again.

Got out of a jam.
Cards have almost as many
Hits as the Red Sox!

Drew: so hot right now.
Will he hit another one?
Make up for it all?

What the hell was that?!!
I’ve never seen a rundown
The runner escaped.

“To sky”: now a verb.
More Buck/McCarver complaints.
I just can’t help it.

“This is my guy,” and
Farrell leaves Lackey in there.
Two runners are close.

Now a big at bat.
Bases loaded, Craig coming.
Can they strand all three?

NO NO NO NO NO
Was that Breslow warming up?
Absolutely not.

.@DidDrewGetAHit
Appears to be broken now
That Drew got a hit.

Just for the record,
@billdamon pulled out bubbly
With three whole outs left.

Now it’s Koji time!
No one better to turn to
To get three huge outs.

The Boston Red Sox
Win another World Series!!!!!
Bring on the duck boats!!!!

Marathon Monday
Transcended and remembered.
This is our city!

The Problems (and Not) of Grant Balfour

OK, to everyone who is all up and impressed by the Ray’s risk-taking in loading the bases last night: I just want to make clear that loading the bases in no way could have helped the Phillies. Who cares is four (or three, or two) guys score? It’s the bottom of the ninth in a tied game, and so it’s only about whether one guy can score–Eric Bruntlett, who’s already on third. There are no outs (i.e., you can’t just get a forceout or two elsewhere to end the game without the run scoring). So you have to make it as easy as possible to get Bruntlett out at home. And therefore it actually helps the Rays and not the Phillies to walk two guys to create the forceout.

It sounds all dramatic to walk the bases loaded in the bottom of the ninth, and in some ways those walks do signify drama: the Rays wouldn’t have done it if the score had been more uneven, if one little hadn’t meant the game, and if there hadn’t been a lone baserunner on third that represented that run. But it’s not that the Rays were impressively putting their World-Series lives on the line–or actually risking anything at all.

In other words, granting ball four was not among Grant Balfour’s problems last night.

P.S. Much as I’m kvetching about this, it’s the five-man infield that I find awesome. Never saw that before. Stuff for the ages.

Crossing the (Foul) Line

Furman Bisher’s recent rant about Opening Day in Japan is all over the blogosphere. Everyone seems to be poking fun at it, or at Bisher himself, for being too old-school (or just too old), as he complains that baseball’s being played in Tokyo and being played by Japanese people. Ha, ha, isn’t it funny.

NO! It’s not! It’s horribly racist and nationalist. Bisher’s comments aren’t just backwards; they’re appalling. He is upset because Opening Day is being held in a country that once upon a time fought our country (let’s not forget that we fought back), and being played by one of its countrymen. He’s lumping everyone who shares attributes with the decision-makers of WWII-era Japan together with those decision-makers themselves.

How can we ever envision an end to the national and religious strife we see around the world if we use this kind of logic to defend even our kinder nostalgic musings?